Okay so yeah, I actually had the balls to see the Spirit. Was it the movie I had every intention to see when I got to the theater? No. I wanted to see Valykrie which I was late for and my friend wanted to see the Spirit so we did. I had every intention of never seeing this movie in my life. Yet here I was, in a movie theater, no less, watching the Spirit. And it was god awful.

Now usually when I go into a film having the very lowest of low expectations, I’m usually pleasantly surprised and end up somewhat enjoying the movie. This was not the case for the Spirit… you know what this movie doesn’t even deserve the effort of me reaching for the shift key so I can capitalize spirit. I really don’t want to rash, but fuck you Frank Millar! Yes, you are awesome and write awesome comics but I am so pissed at you right now… You have made possibly one of the worst movies that I have ever seen. And I’m the Goddamn Rock Solid!

This movie had one of the worst movie quotes as well as one of the best. I’ll start with the bad. At one point in the film? the spirit (see no capital) wakes up tied to a dentist’s chair and he utters, “What smells dental?”

OHOHOHOHOHO that is quite hilariously bad and it made me guffaw!

But wait… its not over yet…

He then looks around the room and sees nazi decorations on the wall and says, “Nazi and Dental. Great.”

Classic.

But what was the best line????

Well, the spirit was hanging from a gargoyle by his jacket, and some civilians below, on the ground, were making fun of him.

A black man utters the phrase that will now go down in history as most possibly my favorite movie quote ever…

“He look stupid!”

oh yeah, its pretty epic and awesome.

You may have noticed that I’m not really summarizing the plot, and I have a fairly simple explanation: There wasn’t really much of a plot at all. I guess the spirit just wanted to kill Octopus and stuff… Yeah it was bad folks. The only redeeming quality it had was Eva Mendes’s bare ass, but this isn’t new to anybody…

oh god it was bad…

I had actually seen the movie a few weeks ago but I remembered that I had seen it so I wrote this reveiw…

and the bad memories are coming back…

goddamnit it was bad…

Rating: ½☆☆☆☆

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